The Wise Woman: Tips for Building a Godly Home

Proverbs 14:1 A wise woman builds her home, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands

This verse is likely one of the most frequently emphasized in Scripture among women. It acts as a reminder to carefully reflect on our actions before engaging in anything that might endanger our marriages.

Friends, let's be clear: keeping our homes intact requires God's grace. In today's world, Christian marriages face many challenges, and it's upsetting to see so many homes being destroyed by foolishness. As women, we have the crucial duty of building our homes. Our marriages and families are our primary ministries.

When God created man, He declared, "It is not good for man to be alone; I will create a help meet for him." He went on to state that a man will leave his parents and cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh (Genesis 2:23-24). This establishes the sacred institution of marriage. Through our unions, we are called to serve God faithfully by being godly wives and parents, raising our children in the ways of the Lord while nurturing our spiritual growth to fulfill our purpose in His greater plan.

Satan is adamantly attacking Christian homes because the family is an extension of the Church of Christ. A broken home leads to a spiritually sick Church, crippling God's work and hindering church growth.

It is evident that one of Satan's ultimate schemes is to destroy God's divine design for humanity by undermining the Christian home. Therefore, the role of a woman in her marriage and home is crucial to fulfilling God's purpose for His Church.

Here are three ways a wise woman can build her home:

1. A wise woman must maintain a positive attitude.

2. A wise woman must speak wisely and kindly (Proverbs 31:26, 21:9).

3. A wise woman must lead by example, embodying the values she desires to instill.

Before diving into these points, let’s define the term "house" in its scriptural context.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, a "house" is a building that serves as living quarters for one or several families, a shelter, or a refuge.

In Proverbs 14:1, "building a house" refers to the inhabitants—the family unit, which typically consists of the husband, wife, and children. This indicates that a wise woman must dedicate her time, skills, and God-given resources to nurture her home according to His will and purpose.

1. A Wise Woman Must Have the Right Attitude

Maintaining the right attitude means choosing to be optimistic and confident, regardless of the circumstances. A woman filled with the fruit of the Spirit can exude peace and joy even in challenging times. In such moments, a wise woman finds ways to uplift and inspire her family with her positivity.

2. A Wise Woman Must Speak the Right Words

A wise woman builds her home with her words. Proverbs 31:26 tells us, "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." If you can’t say something positive, it’s best to remain silent. Unfortunately, I have seen women, who are meant to embody godliness, fail to offer their husbands praise or encouragement. Instead, they resort to nagging and belittling, which ultimately drives their partners away. As Scripture warns, "A foolish woman plucketh her house down with her hands" (Proverbs 14:1). Solomon succinctly states in Proverbs 21:9, "It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house."

As women, it's crucial to be mindful of how we communicate with our husbands and children. It's not just about the words we use, but also the tone in which we speak. Negative words can cause lasting damage, and our language choices carry significant influence.

Recently, my husband unexpectedly complimented me on being a good wife. Curious about his remarks, I asked him why he felt that way. He explained that he had been hearing his friends talk about their frustrations with wives who are often discontent and unappreciative. This made him appreciate how fortunate he is to have a partner who is grateful and positive. It highlighted the significance of fostering an atmosphere of appreciation in our marriage.

3. A wise woman must lead by example

A wise woman has the power to significantly enhance her marriage and home by embodying the values she teaches. It is essential that she not only instructs and trains her children in the way of the Lord but also live as a true example for them to follow. A woman who engages in quarrels or conflicts with her husband in front of her children fails to set a positive standard. Children absorb lessons not just from our words but also from our actions, making it crucial for us as women to remain aware of our children's observations at all times.

To elevate our marriages, we must adhere to the principles laid out in Ephesians 5:22a and 5:33b: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." The Lord has established man as the covering and head of the household, granting husbands authority over their wives, who, in turn, are also under the authority of Christ. By embracing these divine laws and principles, we pave the way for a successful marriage and a harmonious home.

Ephesians 5:33b states, "...and the wife see that she reverences her husband." When you genuinely love your husband, you will uplift him rather than belittle or disrespect him. It is imperative to honor his wishes and to show him respect through your actions and words.

Recently, an annointed woman of God ministered at our local church, delivering an impactful message on the importance of being "submissive." She shared her journey of learning to submit completely to her husband, highlighting how the Lord guided her. She affirmed that since a husband serves as the head of the wife and Christ has authority over the man, any divine guidance for the family passes through him. Therefore, it is vital for wives to listen to their husbands and consistently pray for their spiritual growth.

She shared instances when her husband expressed discomfort with certain decisions, urging her not to proceed. In those moments, he should be heeded. She recounted how there were occasions when she disregarded his advice and faced the consequences, only to later hear the Holy Spirit say, "Listen to your husband." If your husband makes an error, that is for the Lord to address—our responsibility is to follow God's order by reverencing and submitting to him.

By embracing our responsibilities as wives, we enable God to respond to our prayers, which might otherwise be hindered. This act of obedience significantly influences our spiritual growth. This woman of faith now rejoices in almost twenty years of marriage, treasuring each day because of her renewed outlook. Embrace this impactful practice and witness extraordinary changes in your own life and marriage.

I hope you have been blessed by this message. Let me know your thoughts by posting in the comments section.

Originally Published 05/08/2011

Edited 05/10/2025